Jascha's Writing Portfolio
To Whom It May Concern:
First, I would like to thank you for taking time to read my works for my portfolio. These works in the portfolio represent what I have written this semester for the academic writing class. All the articles are related to the four short stories we have read, The Necklace, Americanization of Shadrach Cohen, Dead men’s Path and Grass Eater. Meanwhile, I devoted most of my time and effort to Dead men’s Path, because it attracts most of the four stories, and I had a feeling that I want to write something after I read it.
The second article is the first draft of my essay. I refined my thesis and found quite a lot support in the novel to organize my essay draft. In this draft, I analyzed several conflicts in the story and the characteristic of him in order to point out that if Mr. Obi, hero of the story, could pay enough attention to the communication with local people, these conflicts can be avoided. Thus, I drew the conclusion that communication is the key factor of the development of culture.
After peer discussion, I received several advices from my partners. Then I revised my draft to make the conclusion complete and supplemented my further thought of the conclusion to make it more convinced, and that is essay draft two.
The last one is the third timed-writing and the first and second are not included in this portfolio. The topic of the article is that what Mme. Loisel’s life would be if she had not lost the necklace and whether it would be better or worse. I analyzed the characteristic of Mme. Loisel and the contemporary social environment to prove my statement that the tragedy of Mme. Loisel is inevitable, so her life would not be better if she had not lost the necklace.
Registering this class is a wise choice. Mr. Ron has never introduced any writing techniques, but via these practice, we have been taught how to development our writing ability in a substantial way, which is effective and helpful. Also we are told to pay attention to some writing convention in English. I used to have a little reluctance when writing, but I enjoy writing now. Thus, I will express my gratitude to Mr. Ron.
Thank you for taking time to read my articles
Sincerely,
Jascha Pan
May 23, 2007
Draft Three
He Could Have Done a Better Job
Culture and beliefs of Nigeria in the twentieth century might be uncivilized, but they are not inferior. The living condition there might be poor, but people there have their own faith.
At the beginning, an ambitious young man with an advanced mind can be seen in the story. He was so energetic and enthusiastic that ‘he had many wonderful ideas and this was an opportunity to put them into practice’(52) and there are odds that the social circumstances there might be improved greatly as a result of his revolution, but things don’t always happen according to what people hope.
Second, he refused to make communication with the local people, which I think is the main reason that resulted in the severe conflict eventually. During the conversation with one of his teachers, which was a precious opportunity, he was quite stubborn. The teacher told him that ‘The path appears to be very important to them’ (53), but he considered the path has nothing to do with the school. And thus ‘Heavy sticks were planted closely across the path.’(54) There was a chance for Michael to communicate but he wasted it.
If he could make full use of the opportunities to communicate with one of his teachers and the local priest and learn to understand what they said about importance of path, maybe the conflict would not be so violent.
He’s arrogant thought that the modernization and tradition were incompatible led him to the extreme. However, as far as I concerned, tradition and modernization are compatible and even they supplement each other and both thrive.
Without modernization, our society would not progress and even go backward. Tradition is the spirit of the society, gives people belief and living habit, but if we just keep to it without any creation, it would be obsolete and thus the tradition will hamper the advancement of our society. With the industrialization, living condition has been so improved; with the urbanization, life becomes pretty convenient and colorful; with the democratization, society is just; with the globalization, communication becomes so easy. It is the result of modernization that makes people live in a so wonderful world and live a happy life.
Jascha Pan
May 23, 2007
Draft 2
He Could Have Done a Better Job
Culture and beliefs of Nigeria in the 20th century might be uncivilized, but they are not inferior. The living condition there might be poor, but people there have their own faith.
In Chinua Achebe's short story, "Dead Man's Path," Michael Obi, appointed headmaster of Ndume Central School in Nigeria, wanted things to be perfect for the first visit of his supervisor. Michael Obi built his garden across the ancestor path of the natives and blocked the entrance to the local grave. The supervisor came to evaluate him on the day that the garden had been ruined by the natives. I think it's a great shame. If Michael had a little more patience, a bit more communication with the local people, got to know what and why they need, told they what can do good to their life, I think the results might not be a severe conflict.
At the beginning of the story, we can see an ambitious young man and an advanced mind. ‘He had many wonderful ideas and this was an opportunity to put them into practice.’(52) He was so energetic and enthusiastic that I think, there are odds that the social circumstances there might be improved greatly as a result of his revolution, but things don’t always happen according to what we hope.
The conflict is not what we are willing to see, but it still happened, and let’s see how Michael Obi’s bad approach in imposing modernization resulted in the final conflict. First, the thought that the culture and beliefs there are inferior and barbaric was so deeply rooted in his mind that he believed that everything should be effaced and replaced with a modern one. The author even said that ‘his denigration of “these old and superannuated people in the teaching field who would be better employed as traders in the Onitsha market.”’(52), which I think the truth was somehow distorted in his mind. If he had an objective mind and a calm attitude towards the local culture, then he would know what the proper way to implement his plan.
Second, he refused to make communication with the local people, which I think is the main reason that resulted in the severe conflict eventually. During the conversation with one of his teachers, which was a precious opportunity, he was quite stubborn. The teacher told him that ‘The path appears to be very important to them’ (53), but he considered the path has nothing to do with the school. And thus ‘Heavy sticks were planted closely across the path.’(54) There was a chance for Michael to communicate but he wasted it.
But still he had a second chance. He had a conversation with village priest Ani, but he did not cherish it at all. He said very strict words:’ the whole purpose of our school is to eradicate just such beliefs. Dead men do not require footpaths. The whole idea is just fantastic. Our duty is to teach your children to laugh at such ideas.’(54) This time the conversation not only sharpened it, but also is the fuse of the conflict eventually.
If he could make full use of the opportunities to communicate with one of his teachers and the local priest and learn to understand what they said about importance of path, maybe the conflict would not be so violent.
Why he refused to communicate, despised the culture and beliefs? I think it’s because that he thought the uncivilized culture was nonsense and useless, and the tradition and modernization are incompatible, but actually, the culture and the beliefs are so significant to the natives because they are the greatest treasure inherited from their ancestors. No one has the rights to eradicate their culture and beliefs. In addition, we need our cultures to be diversed and colorful, so it's our duty to protect those cultures suffered from the threat of extinction. If we want our cultures of the world develop in a harmonious way, we should do something to protect them. Diversity means prosperity.
He’s arrogant thought that the modernization and tradition were incompatible led him to the extreme. However, as far as I concerned, tradition and modernization are compatible and even they supplement each other and both thrive.
Tradition is the base which modernization relies on. People living in a particular region will form some certain kind of custom and living habit. With the time elapsed, they form their own culture and inherit the tradition generation by generation. When we modernize our world we should not forget our culture, because modernization relies on the tradition. Without the tradition, we don't know what we want, what we should do and where we came from. There's saying that those who forget the tradition are doomed to betray. If we put the tradition in our mind, the modernization will surely comply with the tradition and even serve to the modernization. For example, all Chinese people learn the ideas of the Confucius which are the pith of Chinese culture in their childhood, and nowadays, these ideas are still helpful in the cultivation of a person's personality, and also they can direct our way of modernization.
Without modernization, our society would not progress and even go backward. Tradition is the spirit of our society, gives us belief and living habit, but if we just keep to it without any creation, it would be obsolete and thus the tradition will hamper the advancement of our society. With the industrialization, our living condition has been so improved; with the urbanization, our life becomes pretty convenient and colorful; with the democratization, our society is just; with the globalization, the communication becomes so convenient. It the result of modernization that makes us live in a so wonderful world and live a happy life.
Tradition and modernization are not incompatible and exclusive to each other. And also we don't need to choose one between them and abandon the other. What we should do is to go on with our modernization while keeping to the tradition. If Michael could keep the tradition and modernization in balance and make more communication with the local people, there would not be a tragedy.
Jascha Pan
May 15, 2007
Draft 1
He Could Have Done a Better Job
Culture and beliefs of Nigeria in the 20th century might be uncivilized, but they are not inferior. The living condition there might be poor, but people there have their own faith.
In Chinua Achebe's short story, "Dead Man's Path," Michael Obi, appointed headmaster of Ndume Central School in Nigeria, wanted things to be perfect for the first visit of his supervisor. Michael Obi built his garden across the ancestor path of the natives and blocked the entrance to the local grave. The supervisor came to evaluate him on the day that the garden had been ruined by the natives. I think it's a great shame. If Michael had a little more patience, a bit more communication with the local people, got to know what and why they need, told they what can do good to their life, I think the results might not be a severe conflict.
At the beginning of the story, we can see an ambitious young man and an advanced mind. ‘He had many wonderful ideas and this was an opportunity to put them into practice.’(52) He was so energetic and enthusiastic that I think, there are odds that the social circumstances there might be improved greatly as a result of his revolution, but things don’t always happen according to what we hope.
The conflict is not what we are willing to see, but it still happened, and let’s see how Michael Obi’s bad approach in imposing modernization resulted in the final conflict. First, the thought that the culture and beliefs there are inferior and barbaric was so deeply rooted in his mind that he believed that everything should be effaced and replaced with a modern one. The author even said that ‘his denigration of “these old and superannuated people in the teaching field who would be better employed as traders in the Onitsha market.”’(52), which I think the truth was somehow distorted in his mind. If he had an objective mind and a calm attitude towards the local culture, then he would know what the proper way to implement his plan.
Second, he refused to make communication with the local people, which I think is the main reason that resulted in the severe conflict eventually. During the conversation with one of his teachers, which was a precious opportunity, he was quite stubborn. The teacher told him that ‘The path appears to be very important to them’ (53), but he considered the path has nothing to do with the school. And thus ‘Heavy sticks were planted closely across the path.’(54) There was a chance for Michael to communicate but he wasted it.
But still he had a second chance. He had a conversation with village priest Ani, but he did not cherish it at all. He said very strict words:’ the whole purpose of our school is to eradicate just such beliefs. Dead men do not require footpaths. The whole idea is just fantastic. Our duty is to teach your children to laugh at such ideas.’(54) This time the conversation not only sharpened it, but also is the fuse of the conflict eventually.
If he could make full use of the opportunities to communicate with one of his teachers and the local priest and learn to understand what they said about importance of path, maybe the conflict would not be so violent.
Why he refused to communicate, despised the culture and beliefs? I think it’s because that he thought the uncivilized culture was nonsense and useless, and the tradition and modernization are incompatible, but actually, the culture and the beliefs are so significant to the natives because they are the greatest treasure inherited from their ancestors. No one has the rights to eradicate their culture and beliefs. So I think that’s the main reason resulting in the severe conflict.
0470048
Jascha Pan
June 21, 2007
Timed-Writing Three
From the Necklace, what might have been the quality of Mme. Loisel’s life if she had not lost the necklace? Is her life better or worse now?
In my point of view, Mme. Loisel’s life might not change a lot. If she had not lost the necklace she borrowed from her friend, maybe another tragedy might happen to her. It completely depends on the characteristic of Mme. Loisel and the contemporary social environment.
Let’s imagine the story if Mme. Loisel had not lost the necklace. She was quite shining in the ball, and quite a number of men present appreciated her beauty. If the necklace had not gone lost, she might be a new star among the upper-class, and everyone would pay attention to this glamorous girl. Thus, maybe there would be some men who showed love to her, and according to her characteristic, her intense ambition to live a luxurious life, she would abandon her husband. But while she really had a new life in the upper-class society, maybe life was not what she used to want or the men did not really love her and could not give Loisel a good life. So her life was not satisfactory to her and even worse now.
The tragedy that happened on her was not a haphazard, and that was due to her personality. Everyone wants to pursue a better life, but Mme. Loisel went to the extreme. Losing the necklace might be karma which gave her a lesson. The characteristic was the most important factor that leads to her unhappiness.
She paid the next ten years to this fake necklace. Why her so-called friend gave her a fake necklace? I think those people in the upper-class always looked down on the ordinary people and Loisel did not belong to that society and also will not. Their arrogance was not easy to break up. The hierarchy of the society is what Mme. Loisel cannot overcome.
In conclusion, Mme. Loisel might still live as common people and her life will not be better or even worse.
The story tells us a tragedy of a conflict between a progressive and an unenlightened culture. Usually, an unenlightened culture is obstinate and not easy to be eradicated, so the direct conflict will certainly cause hurt of either side. I think the unenlightened culture should be enlightened gradually because evolution is a kind of process not a leap. The old ideology cannot be replaced with a new one in one night. So in this story it wasn't appropriate for the headmaster to impose the new idea on the local people without any explanation or convincement. Imposition only causes greater conflict and can not solve the problem.
On the other hand, I don't like the arrogance of the headmaster. In an objective view, the 'path' can not lead the dead to visit home, while in fact, in my point of view, this path was a symbol which expressed the miss of the local people to their dead relatives. The path carried numerous stories of the village, though which they can be linked with the dead.
I think the conflict of the old and the new can be milder when there are more compassion and more respect.